There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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