I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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