I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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