I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
