okay pat passed out under dana's car
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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