we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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