I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
