u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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