non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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