tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
