i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
