My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
