he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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