Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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