Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
