guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
