Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
