there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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