I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize