we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
