Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
