Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
