I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
