god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
