i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
we're so committed to being not committed
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