Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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