The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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