My sheets look like a crime scene.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she looked like the before picture.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize