I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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