My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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