using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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