you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
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