You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
