Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
