It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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