You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize