I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
And then my night got REAL pukey
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
