His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
