I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
