ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
