This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
