I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
