what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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