OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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