Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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