I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
