Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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