Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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