i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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