u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
