I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
My friends, they love my intelligence
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
