I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Randomize
