I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
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Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
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Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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