dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i've created a new STD.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
