u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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