I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
