don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
