absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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