I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
