So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize