I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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