no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
